PROLOGUE
Lology of Fless and Eyon of Metron sat across from one another and gently sipped their coffee.
They were sitting in a restaurant of some sorts, connected to a refuelling station that humans used to re-power their metal boxes on wheels.
Wheels! Eyon thought, they still use wheels.
He glanced around, they were alone, there were no humans around. They had run away when both he and Lology had arrived, a meeting they had set up in the Guard Robots ship weeks ago. They had teleported in there had been screams, it had been great fun.
The building was isolated and perfect for their chat, the nearest human civilisation was miles away, and no doubt the humans they had scared off were running from here to there right now.
Eyon chuckled to himself; he was looking forward to ruling such a funny and primitive race. He turned his attention back to Lology of Fless.
“I love this stuff,” Lology said and it took another sip of coffee. The drink evaporated when it touched the energised skin of the alien and was then absorbed into its body.
Eyon sipped his too; the water ran down his metal throat and was absorbed by his copper stomach.
“I like it as well,” he said, “now to business you’ve had time to consider my plan?” he asked.
“I have and I do not think it can be done with human technology,” Lology said. “There is no computer big enough.”
Eyon smiled and fished from his pocket a flat tablet he had stolen from a human.
“Our mutual friend has been showing me human technology and I have discovered a way to get all the computing power we need,” he replied.
His metal hands clumsily activated the device and showed Lology the wonders of the internet.
“I see,” Lology said.
“Excellent when shall we begin?” Eyon asked.
“I don’t see what is in this for you?” Lology said.
“I just want to help you get off this planet,” Eyon said.
“You’re a tyrant why should I believe that you care where I am?” Lology replied.
“I don’t,” Eyon replied, smiling, "as long as its not on this planet."
Lology raised a sparkling eyebrow.
“Let me be clear I want to rule this planet, but I can’t do that with all those prisoners from the Guard Robot's ship running around, the sooner you’re all gone the sooner I can start conquering,” Eyon explained.
Lology sipped its coffee.
“Well?” Eyon said.
“Very well, we will go through with the plan, is the human going to help?” Lology said.
“He’s already setting up the website,” Eyon replied.
“Before I’ve agreed, you assume too much Eyon.”
“I not assumed that you want to get off this rock regardless, I’m giving you a way off it’s that simple, you just had to say yes.”
Lology sighed, “I better be off, there is work to be done, what country shall we set up in?” it asked.
Eyon used the tablet to bring up a map of the world. “This one, it’s in the centre of one of the most internet dense continents on this planet,” Eyon said pointing at the map that was labelled Europe.
Lology nodded two of its heads then disappeared.
Eyon sat back in the chair and drank his coffee.
Poor fool, he thought.
They were sitting in a restaurant of some sorts, connected to a refuelling station that humans used to re-power their metal boxes on wheels.
Wheels! Eyon thought, they still use wheels.
He glanced around, they were alone, there were no humans around. They had run away when both he and Lology had arrived, a meeting they had set up in the Guard Robots ship weeks ago. They had teleported in there had been screams, it had been great fun.
The building was isolated and perfect for their chat, the nearest human civilisation was miles away, and no doubt the humans they had scared off were running from here to there right now.
Eyon chuckled to himself; he was looking forward to ruling such a funny and primitive race. He turned his attention back to Lology of Fless.
“I love this stuff,” Lology said and it took another sip of coffee. The drink evaporated when it touched the energised skin of the alien and was then absorbed into its body.
Eyon sipped his too; the water ran down his metal throat and was absorbed by his copper stomach.
“I like it as well,” he said, “now to business you’ve had time to consider my plan?” he asked.
“I have and I do not think it can be done with human technology,” Lology said. “There is no computer big enough.”
Eyon smiled and fished from his pocket a flat tablet he had stolen from a human.
“Our mutual friend has been showing me human technology and I have discovered a way to get all the computing power we need,” he replied.
His metal hands clumsily activated the device and showed Lology the wonders of the internet.
“I see,” Lology said.
“Excellent when shall we begin?” Eyon asked.
“I don’t see what is in this for you?” Lology said.
“I just want to help you get off this planet,” Eyon said.
“You’re a tyrant why should I believe that you care where I am?” Lology replied.
“I don’t,” Eyon replied, smiling, "as long as its not on this planet."
Lology raised a sparkling eyebrow.
“Let me be clear I want to rule this planet, but I can’t do that with all those prisoners from the Guard Robot's ship running around, the sooner you’re all gone the sooner I can start conquering,” Eyon explained.
Lology sipped its coffee.
“Well?” Eyon said.
“Very well, we will go through with the plan, is the human going to help?” Lology said.
“He’s already setting up the website,” Eyon replied.
“Before I’ve agreed, you assume too much Eyon.”
“I not assumed that you want to get off this rock regardless, I’m giving you a way off it’s that simple, you just had to say yes.”
Lology sighed, “I better be off, there is work to be done, what country shall we set up in?” it asked.
Eyon used the tablet to bring up a map of the world. “This one, it’s in the centre of one of the most internet dense continents on this planet,” Eyon said pointing at the map that was labelled Europe.
Lology nodded two of its heads then disappeared.
Eyon sat back in the chair and drank his coffee.
Poor fool, he thought.